I cannot wait to have a decent enough laptop to do reaction videos. I hope to buy a nice enough laptop to do so, but I will need to talk to some of my friends at "Down to Game" before I decide on my black friday laptop purchase. Then I’ll publish videos again, in addition to writing, but thank God my phone’s microphone broke because it got me back into writing!
I want to do reaction videos to this, because I need to resolve the paradox of the fact that I need to stop being such a "nice guy," do shadow work, find my shadow, and really build a better relationship with it so that when I am assertive and say, "NO" I mean it. No budging. I am a bleeding heart, so I found it very difficult to get over my toxic compassion.
For most people, being told to stop trusting people is a bad idea. For me, I need to be forced to reconsider how trusting I am of people. I give away trust when it has not been earned, and that has burned me several times before. How much I like someone and how much I trust them have to always remain compartmentalized in my head, without their charm affecting my decision-making. Especially as a man, women can use their wiles on you to make you do things you should not, like have sex before marriage or spend money that you had allocated as savings. Of course, I hope to meet a woman that would not do that, but we are all susceptible to temptation, myself included, so I could end up losing self-control and being the one that makes an excuse for it. Not that I plan on sinning, I'm just not trying to potray women as the ones who initiate sex outside of marriage. Both sexes do... and, yes, I am certain it is the men who initiate it 99% of the time. Don't give me grief. The dating world is not pleasant for either men or women right now as both are deeply dissatisfied in general.
However, I do not want to engage in the typical style of dating where you just choose a woman that you fall for around the time you're ready to settle down. Love is not all you need. That is the biggest lie in the world. Love, without wisdom, can be hell.
I want a relationship blessed by the Lord. I want a Christian family. I want children who will become greater and more successful than I could ever be since I will ensure that I am always passionate about encouraging my childrens' passions in life and I will teach them to engage with the world in the most effective manner I possibly can, with an older, wiser parenting mentor to help me along the way.
I want to help people. I want to alleviate people's suffering and then see them excel in life. I want to inspire children with a profound love of learning and of exploring this beautiful world and trying out new things and working on creative and entrepreneurial ideas like starting their own business, starting their own podcast/YouTube channel about mental health, or perhaps pursuing a career in politics where they will actually have principles and call out all the ATM politicians who are only in it for that corporate payoff money from Big Pharma or what have you.
I want to educate children to outwit me, outsmart me, and become wiser and more effective than I ever could be. Each generation should be greater than the last, not worse. If capitalism allowed entrepreneurs to improve education by trying things like, I don’t know, letting the kids choose any nonfiction books they want to read based on their interests, allow for self-directed education, and pair them with a local doctor in the community if their independent study project is to research oncology and work with an oncologist to see if they want to dedicate their life to researching potential cures for cancer and/or treating cancer patients. In high school. So by the time they go to college, they already know if they want to be a carpenter, a plumber, a doctor, a lawyer, an IT guy, an engineer, a nurse, a statesman, or an entrepreneur.
Hell, if we allow high school kids to spend 1/3 rd of their school day on an entrepreneurial project, some of them will create profitable businesses and will make more money than their parents do before they even graduate high school. The ones that work hard and work smart, anyway. I think that notion would inspire a lot of kids to be managing a successful business by the time they’re 18. Even if they fail, you learn more valuable knowledge and gain skills from starting a business that fails than you ever could from just getting a degree in entrepeneurship. Anyone who is majoring in entreneurship or specializing in it and has not started their own business already is missing out on a huge opportunity to actually try applying what learn in school to real-world problems.
The children are our future and they are filled with tremendous and profound untapped potential that we just stomp out with the boot of government education 180 days per year. If we can have school choice, attach the money to the students instead of sending $20,000/year per student to the public schools so they can waste... 100% of that money by dumbing down our kids. Even if we have decent public schools in Alabama, they are not gonna create a competitive free market environment in education; which is the only thing that causes progress; as we can see since every domain managed by government gets worse whereas everything that is strictly voluntary, free market capitalism, than things get better and better and better.
But I suppose God does not want me to catalyze a paradigm shift in education anytime soon. There are a lot of obstacles in my way before I can start working on that. When I really should have started this project 15 years ago, at the least, if I wanted to save this country. I already feel 15 years behind schedule. Now, life has presented me with many obstacles that will prevent me from doing as much as I thought I could do... like starting a sales job since I always made a sale on my first day, any sales job I had, and I know I would easily make a six-figure salary with my insane 120-hour-per-week work ethic. However... I could not get a sales job despite all the interviewers loving me after I got really great at the interviews… because of something incredibly stupid I did three years ago while dating a girl who said she would kill herself if I broke up with her, so I did my damned best to try to make her break up with me. So I got a DUI and charged with possession of her adderall and xanax without a prescription. Now I'm a non-violent felon and no one wants to hire me. I found Christ six months ago, but the state of Alabama does not care. That's the government for you.
God, this world is so cruel. I've always worked 120 hours a week whenever I had the chance. It's still all I want to do. Why does the world keep preventing me from succeeding? I don't know. But I'm happy. I don't need to be successful to be happy. I just need to be on the road to success. Will I be able to save this country's education system from further dumbing down this nation's children anytime soon? I have no clue. If God wills it, it will happen. If He wills it to not be, it will not be. I know not the Lord's plans, for he works in ways mysterious and incomprehensible to mere mortals. We can no better understand the Lord's plans than an ant could comprehend the plans of a human being. Our finite minds are simply too small to comprehend the ways of something that is infinitely complex in nature... and perhaps also infinitely simple as well in the ways that matter. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds true.
Some aspects of God are quite easy to understand. Most aspects of God, I think, are far beyond our understanding. We need only concern ourselves with how we can act more like Jesus and be a force of good in this world. That includes "whipping the money changers" metaphorically speaking, but that's a topic for another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment